Mindful Eating Series with The Grounded Therapist (#1)

This time of year you can't glance at any social media feed without being bombarded with (bad) advice on how to lose weight/be healthy/shape up. There IS an alternative to all that diet & clean eating crazy speak: Mindful Eating. I understand that it can be a hard to understand concept- so I have embarked on a project to help you understand what it is and how it can help you and (perhaps more importantly) how you can start practicing it today. This is a collaboration between myself and The Grounded Therapist. 

I met Rachel Dougherty, The Grounded Therapist, through a bloggers group. Since I write & talk a lot about the psychology behind eating, I am always eager to collaborate (and learn from) psychologists who are experts in mindfulness. After some exciting exchanges, we decided to collaborate on a Mindful Eating series! 

Here is what Rachel had to say about Mindful Eating: 

"This is the time of year when people try to make healthy goals for themselves. Diets and weight loss tricks are everywhere. It’s unavoidable. However, there are few real sustainable plans out there. Since we know most diets fail, what can you do if you want to lose weight, be more healthy or set a new fitness/wellness goal? What about starting to eat more mindfully? I know mindful eating is something I consider each new year after eating way too many cookies and cake. My birthday is on thanksgiving. It’s just cake and sweets from November to January 2nd. When you eat well and get some exercise you body and mind feel great. You will have more energy which means you will do good work, be able to accomplish more goals which make you want to continue to eat better. It’s an amazing cycle which I still manage to derail at times. I ... consider mindful eating a self care priority. "

Without further ado, here is our first post:

You’ve probably heard that mindful eating can help you manage your weight, reduce any disordered eating and help repair your relationship with food. Understanding what mindful eating is and how to practice it is the challenging part. This is mainly because it requires inner reflection, paying attention and lots of practice.

Being a mindful eater means much more than just eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are full. Most people have heard the advice to “stop when you are full” and roll their eyes because, let’s be honest, you’ve probably tried it, and without the proper support, it may not have worked for you. For a greater chance of actually stopping when you are full, there are many things to practice and that is what this series is all about! In fact, the goal for many people is to use mindful eating as a way to reduce emotional and mindless eating. This means practicing being able to recognize when you are full, estimating how much food you need, letting go of judgement about your body & food and learning to trust your instincts.

Going beyond the “eat when hungry and stop when full”, mindful eating includes noticing the colors, smells, flavors, and textures of your food; eating more slowly; getting rid of distractions like TV or reading; hearing hunger and fullness cues and learning to eliminate guilt and anxiety about food. Noticing these things means deliberately paying attention and being fully aware of what is happening both inside and outside yourself.

Inside yourself includes what is going through your mind such as any emotions or thoughts you may be having- "I am stressed" or "I feel fat". Mindfulness includes paying attention to the experience in our body. Where in the body do we feel hunger? (in the head or in the stomach?) What does half-full feel like, or three quarters full?

Outside yourself means your surroundings:

• Where are you physically?
• sitting or standing? 
• at your desk with emails coming in every 2 minutes? 
• or alone in the kitchen with everyone gone to bed?

• Who are you with? 
• Compassionate people who make you feel confident?
• Or people who judge your eating and weight. 

The idea is to eventually learn in what way these thoughts, emotions and environment affects what, how and how much we eat. But, before we get ahead of ourselves, lets stick to practicing observing.

Eating mindfully can sound a bit abstract and practicing concrete activities to increase mindfulness can help you get started. To start becoming more mindful of when, how and what you eat as well as what influences you to eat, there are hands on exercises you can practice. Let’s start with this exercise:

Before eating, take a minute to observe your environment (outside your body) and your thoughts, emotions and how you physically feel (inside your body):

• are you stressed? Anxious? Happy? Sad? Tired?

• at the table and discussing stressful news? Standing up at the counter? Sitting in front of the tv?

• are you at your desk? In a stressful meeting? Rushing around in the car and feel you have no time to eat?

The goal is only to observe. Take notice. Pay attention more to your surrounding and your body and mind. This is invaluable for later, when trying to find patterns or barriers to eating mindfully. 

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Waste of ressources: Who has the time for dieting?

Dieting is a waste of energy, time and money.

I don't know about you, but I certainly have none of those to spare!

I am a HUGE advocate of intuitive and mindful eating to manage health. It encourages a way of eating that fits with your "eating personality" & food preferences, it is easy to integrate regardless of where you are geographically (on vacation, on a business trip or enjoying breakfast bed) and perhaps most importantly, has nothing to do with starvation or deprivation.

A recent article touches on this subject with great insight. It is from the latest Scientific American MIND magazine:

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-diets-don-t-work-and-what-does/

It is so eloquently written and it mentions all the important aspects of weight management. If you have 5 minutes to read it, DO IT, you won't regret it.

So, getting back to my initial thought that dieting is a time suck. The funny thing is that many people have told me that they just don't have the time to learn how to eat mindfully. They believe that they need some strict guidance on what to eat and what not to eat in order to fix their eating problems and that somehow these strict rules will be easier to follow than a more natural way of eating. For many people, it is easier to blindly follow a diet- there is no need to think or second guess your decisions so it may feel like you are saving energy. It can also feel safer to follow a traditional way to lose weight since it has been marketed to death for decades. 

However, over time the strain and drain of having to resist eating the foods you enjoy and avoiding those that are handy starts to take its toll. Not to mention the terrible track record diets have with unsustainable weight loss and even weight gain

There is a finite amount of energy we have at our disposal every day. Wasting it on doing things that just don't work (ahem, diets!) is insane and frustrating.

When talking about diets, gurus and celebrities come to mind. I still can’t understand why people think that a celebrity could possibly know their body better than they do. Sure, dietitians have (science based) knowledge about nutrition and know of what has worked for other people who have successfully made health changes, but ultimately, you are the expert on your body. Re-discovering the confidence that you can make healthy choices takes time and practice, and it the only sustaining way to manage weight and health. I say re-discover because we were all born with the innate ability to hear and listen to our hunger and fullness cues. Understanding what influences things like mindless eating and large portion sizes is one step to eating healthier. Unfortunately, no diet will help with these issues, the answers have to come from listening to your mind and body.

No one would stand being instructed on how to feel or, perhaps more bluntly, what kind of underwear to wear. So why are so many of us allowing other people to tell us what, how much and when to eat? Listening and worrying over these instructions is a waste of time and energy.

The jobs of dietitians and other health professionals has evolved from providing knowledge and barking orders to listening to what the client wants and needs as well as motivating & supporting them to take action on making changes. So if you find yourself in a relationship with a health advocate who is telling you what to do rather than listening to you, move on and find someone who will be more of a partner in change rather than a know-it-all.

Feeling inadequate because you can’t follow a crazy diet to the letter is a waste of energy. Remember, you deserve to be confident with what you eat and diets do not give us confidence, they only take it away.

How to avoid dieting in 5 steps

Diets don't work. They are especially toxic for your relationship with food and your body. So what is left to do if you want to improve your eating or manage your weight? Try these tips to avoid falling back on dieting this year.

1. Reconnect with your hunger levels: everyone already has a way to "regulate" their eating and it has nothing to do with other people's diet advice. Listening to your very own hunger signals is the first step to reconnecting with your body's needs. No diet book, diet guru or meal plan will ever know how much or what you need to eat at any particular moment. Only you know what you want to eat, how much of it you need to feel satisfied and if you are truly hungry. It can seem scary at first especially if you have not relied on your own hunger cues in a long time, but chances are you will eat less if you follow your true hunger than if you ignore it. For most people who claim they are never hungry or feel fullness, chances are they have stopped listening to the cues long ago but the good news is that anyone can reconnect with these signals. This does take time and practice to get it right, but its worth the work! Read more about hunger levels and how to reconnect with them here.

2. Recognize when you are eating without being hungry: hearing your hunger (and fullness) cues is important for pointing when you are eating without hunger. Most people have eaten without feeling hungry at least once in their life. However, when this happens often it can lead to unhappiness and not actually fix the problems or emotions that are occurring. If you are not hungry, eating food does not help to relieve any sadness or loneliness or anxiety you may be experiencing. Negative emotions and situations cannot be helped with food and most people feel even worse after comforting themselves with food (especially true with people who are not intuitive eaters). First step is to acknowledge when you are eating without being hungry. After that, you can decide if you want to eat anyway, distract yourself from the craving or deal with the emotions that may be influencing you to eat.

3. Start peeling off those food labels ("good" food or "bad"): the more a food is forbidden, the more it is tempting to eat. Labeling foods as bad often does not lead to eating less of it. In fact, it often leads to binges if they are after avoided for a long time and if they are some of your favourite foods. Whats the point of avoiding, say ice cream, if you are going to binge on a pint of it at the end of the month. Just like in life, foods and nutrition are rarely just black and white. There is a lot of gray area- which can be harder to navigate than good vs bad. Again, the payoff of learning to live in a world of grays is worth the hard work. Taking the labels of foods can be scary and difficult. Some people are worried they may binge or over eat if foods are no longer off limits. However, with time the "I want what I can't have" does wear off. Often these forbidden foods taste better with a "bad" label and when that label is removed, they aren't as tasty or tempting.


4. Include all foods into your diet. This tip goes hand in hand with #3. This may mean re-introducing forbidden foods- especially if you find yourself binging on them. At first you may feel vulnerable and tempted to overindulge on these foods. However the more you practice enjoying these foods without guilt the easier it will become to eat them in moderation. When the foods become less forbidden, the need or desire to eat more than we want to, slowly goes away. Trust me- everyone thinks that this is impossible- but it will happen if you give it a chance. If you binge eat on a regular basis, you may want to enlist the help of a dietitian who specializes in eating disorders to help you with this step.

5. Write down exactly what changes you want to make. Most people know what they want to change, it's finding the way to make those changes that is the hard part. You don't need to be told to eat more fruit and veg or go to bed earlier but finding ways to carry out these changes takes effort. Focusing on actual things to change rather than "wanting to lose weight" gives you something tangible to do. Goals or changes you want to make should be action based- and wanting to lose weight or improve your relationship with food is not an action. What are you going to do to make these desires come true? Eat one fruit every day? Record your 10pm show so you can get to bed earlier? Try tracking the actions you want to take in order to remind yourself of your progress and successes.

Mindful eating- step two!

I've previously blogged about the general concept of mindful eating along with one way to practice eating more in the moment. The next step you can take involves learning the difference between eating due to hunger versus other influences.

So so so many clients struggle with eating when they are not hungry which can trigger feelings of guilt and shame. Understanding whether you are eating due to hunger or other reasons begins with being mindful before taking the first bite.

Before you take a bite of food, take a minute to listen to your body. Ask yourself- "am I truly hungry?" The task at hand is not to resist the urge to eat or be a "good person" for not eating- but to simply listen or check in with your body. 

It is important that you do this in a non-judgemental way. If you are scared of how you might feel if you are not hungry but want to eat anyways, you may eat out of rebellion or anger. Allowing yourself the option to eat anyways and congratulate yourself on taking the time to listen to your body's hunger and fullness levels will help you avoid feeling guilty.

Step one would be to step away from the food. Go to a quiet place free from the smells and influence of food. This could be in  your car before heading into the house or in the bathroom before eating dinner. You can close your eyes or focus on an object while evaluating your physical signs of hunger. 

Some people find it useful to write down a list of physical signs of hunger- tummy rumbling, gnawing feeling, etc. Refer to that list while you are trying to judge if you are hungry. 

Step two: Once you've determined if you are actually hungry- try to figure out how hungry you are. A lot? a little? Hunger is not all or nothing- there is a scale or progression that will help determine how much food you need. You can use a scale from 1-5 or 1-10 to help you evaluate it. 



Step three: once you know how hungry you really are- decide how much food you need to eat to fill the gap BEFORE starting to eat. You can always decide to eat more or less once you are eating, but letting your hunger decide how much you need versus the food can help you be more mindful. 

If you feel confident in listening to your hunger signals and determining how hungry you are- there is a fourth step. Once you have eaten about half the plate of food- take a mini break. Reconnect with your body to reevaluate your hunger levels. Check in to see how much more you need to eat to feel satisfied. 

Practicing listening to your hunger cues and evaluating your level of hunger or fullness is a big concept to master. It is not that difficult with practice and is INVALUABLE for weight management.

Tackling the triggers that influence you to eat when not actually hungry is another exercise to increase mindfulness. This one is a bit more difficult to do on your own and can stir up some emotions. Triggers can be in your environment (donuts in the breakroom), feelings (like stress or sadness) even old habits (snacking while watching tv). But that's for another post!

What is mindful eating?

I talk a lot about mindful eating and how it can help you manage your weight, reduce any disordered eating and help repair your relationship with food. Understanding what mindful eating is and how to practice it is the challenging part. Not because it is hard to do but because it takes time, inner reflection and lots of practice.

Being a mindful eater means noticing the colors, smells, flavors, and textures of your food; chewing slowly; getting rid of distractions like TV or reading; and learning to cope with guilt and anxiety about food.
Noticing these things means deliberately paying attention, being fully aware of what is happening both inside and outside yourself. In your body means in your heart and mind such as any emotions or thoughts you may be having- "I am stressed" or "I feel fat". As well as outside yourself, in your surroundings- like at your desk with emails coming in every 2 minutes or alone in the kitchen with everyone gone to bed.

Noticing how eating affects our mood and how our emotions like anxiety influence our eating is important. Mindfulness includes paying attention to the experience in our body. Where in the body do we feel hunger? (in the head or in the stomach?) What does half-full feel like, or three quarters full?

One other very important aspect of mindfulness is being aware of all these things without criticising or judging yourself. For example, you are feeling stressed at your desk at work and want to eat your lunch but it's only 10am and you are not hungry. Rather than judging yourself and thinking:"what is wrong with me? I just had breakfast! How am I supposed to get through the day if all I want to do it eat!?", try being more aware of the situation- "I am feeling stressed which usually pushes me to eat. Also, my stress is mounting with the constant chiming of emails. What I need to do is decrease my stress and food won't do that...but a small walk to the bathrooms might help me relax".

Eating mindfully can sound a bit abstract and practicing concrete activities to increase mindfulness can help you get started. Gradually start to become more mindful of when, how and what you eat as well as what influences you to eat. Start by dedicating one meal a week or a day to eating more slowly and more attentively. Try these tips:

-Set a timer to 20 minutes and take the whole time to eat a normal sized meal.
-Try eating the meal with your non dominant hand to slow you down. You can also use chopsticks to do this.
-Eat in silence for 5 minutes and think about how your food was grown, produced, prepared and cooked.
-Take small bites and chew well.
-Try to guess all the spices and herbs used in the dish.
-Notice how the crunchy food feels between your teeth or the silky food feels on your tongue.
-Is the food as good or tasty as you expected?

The next few steps to take is to become more aware of your hunger signals (Am I hungry? and if so, how hungry?), fullness signals and triggers that may influence your appetite or desire to eat.

Reading through a book, using a workbook or talking to a registered dietitian about mindful eating can be very helpful in getting started or to help maintain mindfulness. You can read more about mindful eat and intuitive eating in past blogs here, here, here  and here (you can also search my blog for posts related to mindful and intuitive eating).